Does it seem that I am breast and nursing obsessed? Judging from my posts, I'm sure you would think so. I haven't bothered to count the times that I have written the words "breast" and "nursing", but if I did, I'm fairly confident the number would be high. In my defense, though, this IS an ANR blog, so it makes perfect sense that my posts focus on boobs, right? When you are in a committed ANR, it is difficult not to be at least SLIGHTLY obsessed (obsessed doesn't seem to be the word that I am looking for, but it will suffice for now) with the lifestyle; after all, a great deal of your time becomes dedicated to nursing another human being, and that is no different than nursing a little one. When my children were breastfeeding, I was a notorious clock watcher, and as the time for their feedings drew near, my mind would immediately remind me: "it's time to feed the baby". That routine became so natural, so instinctive, that clocks and watches no longer became necessary. I simply KNEW when my child was hungry; they didn't need to utter even the tiniest cry.
And that is how it is with S in our ANR. Nursing is a given occurrence. Once we decided to embark upon and re-explore our journey together, he simply KNOWS that I will be available to him at 11:00 each night. He doesn't have to ask to be nursed, and I don't have to remind him that it is time for his feeding. We simply snuggle down, both of us finding the most comfortable of positions, and I offer my breast to him. When he has fed from both sides, we often drift off to sleep, secure in our love for one another.
As we have stayed on our nursing schedule and my body has begun to show very early signs of change, I am much more focused on nursing, much more attuned to my breasts' needs. S is at work right now, but if he were home, I would suggest that he nurse now (and then again tonight) because I am feeling emotional and my breasts "think" they need to be emptied. As enticing as it might be to engage in around the clock nursing, it just isn't practical, so although it may SEEM that the entirety of our marriage revolves around nursing, that could not be further from the truth.
On the surface, we are just an average couple with many obligations; children to raise, bills to pay, gardens to tend, and lawns to mow. S works outside of the home, I work within it. We discuss the children's grades and allowance, politics, current events, and the price of gasoline. We plan vacations, enjoy family game night, and Friday night kid-friendly movies with our offspring. During the day, I am busy with school work, laundry, and toy picking up, managing to fit in a bit of candle making, knitting, and writing here and there. It just so happens that within all of this mundane, there is a time for adult intimacy and bonding in the form of nursing. It is such a natural part of our everyday life; it reminds me of what we have created TOGETHER within the bonds of marriage, and it is thrilling.
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